Misplaced Uniforms
by moms2398
Summary: Jack decides to play a April Fools' Day joke on Daniel. Rated not for content, but for the imagery it incites.


As Teal'c moved through the corridors of Level 25 and into the elevator on his way to Level 18, he reassessed his understanding of a concept Colonel Jack O'Neill had eagerly introduced him to.

It was April 1 when ColonelO'Neill told Teal'c that he'd decided to play a "practical joke" on DanielJackson. Teal'c couldn't help wondering what made this day different from other days and was informed that, on "April Fool's Day" the joke had to be _really_ good.

Looking back, Teal'c did not understand what, exactly, was 'practical' about that joke or any of the others that followed.

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Daniel sighed, enjoying the feel of the warm water on his tired muscles after a long, dirty mission. He finally turned off the water and reached for his towel. He ran it roughly over his body and through his hair, then wrapped it around his waist and padded out of the showers to his locker.

Rubbing his head to shake out the excess water from his longish hair, he arrived at his locker and found it open. Looking in, he frowned and closed it just enough to look at the name tag on it. He squinted and could make out "D. Jackson" on the door.

Daniel tapped lightly on the upper shelf of the locker and found his glasses pushed all the way to the back. He quickly put them on, then looked again in his locker, confirming what he'd hoped he hadn't seen without his glasses. He checked the name again and groaned.

Shaking his head, he went over to the locker labeled "J. O'Neill" and pulled on the handle. It was, of course, locked. Convinced that Jack had hidden his uniforms in another locker within the locker room, Daniel hit the locker with the side of his fist, then swore in Egyptian. Methodically, he tried every other locker, only to find them all locked.

Daniel sat, heavily, on the bench in front of his empty locker and sighed, rubbing his face. Finally, he came to the realization that there was nothing else he could do.

Slowly, he opened the locker room door and glanced up and down the hall. The cool air of the hallway caused him to shiver. He stepped out and, quickly, padded down the hall toward the corridor that led to his on-base quarters.

He turned the corner, relieved that he hadn't run into anyone, and came face to face with two Air Force officers—female Air Force officers. He felt the color drain from his face.

"Doctor Jackson!" One of the women looked astonished. She swallowed and looked up over his shoulder as a blush crossed her face.

The other officer was not as gracious. Her eyebrows rose and she smiled as she looked him up and down. "This is a new look for you, sir."

Daniel leveled a withering look at her, but said only, "Ladies," as he walked around them and continued down the hall. He didn't stop when he thought he heard one of them – he could guess which – whistle softly and the other one whisper frantically…

"_Oh, good Lord!"_

When he finally reached his quarters, he opened the door and slipped in, to find his clothes neatly folded on his bed.

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"Jack!"

Samantha Carter turned to see Daniel march into the briefing room, a look of fury in his face. She tried and failed to suppress a smile because the word of what Lieutenants Astor and Moses had seen in the corridor of Level 25 had already reached her. "Daniel?"

"Uh, hello, Sam. Where's Jack?"

She turned back to where her commanding officer had been only a minute ago, but found the place formerly occupied by him vacant.

"I don't know," she shrugged. "He was here a minute ago."

Daniel pursed his lips. "If you see him, please tell him I _will_ remember this."

Sam nodded. "Sure.Remember what?"

Daniel swallowed and shook his head. "He'll know." Then he turned heel and left her lab.

That's when Jack's head popped up from behind the lab table. "Is he gone?"

Sam smiled. "Yes, sir. He's gone."

Jack chuckled. "I wonder what's got him all riled up?"

"I wonder," She focused on him.

To his credit, Jack managed to look _almost_ innocent as he looked down at the paperwork in front of him.

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Jack O'Neill was standing in an open shower stall, washing the soap off his face when he heard voices in the locker room. Normally this wouldn't concern him, but the voices, and the laughter that accompanied them, were decidedly female. He quickly finished rinsing and turned off the shower. He reached out of the doorless shower stall for his towel only to find it wasn't there.

Frowning, he stuck his head out to look at the hook he knew he'd put the towel on and saw just the hook. No towel.

"Daniel," he growled. Then he ducked back in, placing his back in the corner as a female voice came closer. He grabbed the washcloth to cover himself.

"Sir!" Lieutenant Moses gasped as she came to the stall. Dressed in a robe and flip-flops with a towel over her arm, she snapped to attention and found a spot far above his head to focus on. "Uh…" she swallowed. "Sorry, sir. The, uh, sign on the door said 'Females Only'."

"Sure it did."

"Yes, sir."

"Uh, Lieutenant?"

"Sir?"

"You have a towel."

"Oh!" She held the towel out. "Yes, sir. Here, please."

He took the towel as she did a smart about face and walked out of the shower area. He wrapped the towel around himself and stepped out, noticing the voices quieting.

He strolled out of the shower to find six women lining one wall in various states of undress. Some were partially clothed in their uniforms, others were in robes or towels. He nodded to them. "Ladies."

"Sir!" they acknowledged him.

He walked, nonchalantly, to his locker and opened it.He closed it again to find it really was labeled with "J. O'Neill" and opened it again.

Someone behind him giggled.

He sighed.

"Uh, sir?" Lieutenant Astor said from behind him. "If you want, you can borrow my robe."

Jack turned to see her smiling broadly at him. "Do you know what happened to my clothes, Lieutenant?"

"No, sir!" she stated, and then added under her breath, "although I can guess."

"So can I. I'll take that robe, if I can."

Astor nodded and moved quickly to her locker. She reached into her locker and pulled out a _pink_ robe.

Jack sighed again, chagrinned. Donning the robe and tying the belt around his waist, with the towel still firmly in place, he nodded. "Ladies. Have a good day."

He moved quickly out into the hall. The cool air of the hallway caused him to shiver. He stepped out and, quickly, padded down the hall toward the corridor that led to his on-base quarters.

He turned the corner, relieved that he hadn't run into anyone, and came face to face with General Hammond.

"Colonel."

"Sir."

"Misplace your uniform?"

"Not exactly."

"Dr. Jackson misplaced your uniform?"

"Most likely."

General Hammond pursed his lips and shook his head. "This needs to stop, Colonel."

Jack pulled the robe tighter. "Agreed, sir."

"Well, as you were. That is, _if_ you were on your way to get your uniform," Hammond reminded him.

"Of course, sir."

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After Jack got dressed, he walked into Daniel Jackson's lab and looked around. "Daniel."

Daniel looked up and pushed his glasses up. "Yes, Jack?"

"Nice touch, switching the 'Males Only' sign for the 'Females Only'."

Daniel frowned. "I didn't do that."

"But you did take my uniform out of the locker room."

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Daniel looked down, a sure indication to Jack that he was lying.

"You couldn't leave me a towel? I mean, the towel _and_ the sign? You went a little extreme, there, didn't you?"

Daniel glanced up. "I _didn't_ switch the sign."

Jack frowned. "So who was your accomplice?"

Daniel frowned. "Accomplice?"

"Well, if you didn't turn the sign, then whoever you had helping you must have."

"What makes you think I had someone helping me?"

Jack was becoming impatient. "Because I really doubt any of the _military_ females on this base would have done something like that."

Daniel shrugged. "I really have no idea who could have done that."

Jack began to finger an artifact on the edge of the lab table. He looked up to see Daniel staring pointedly at him. "I'm sure, if you thought hard about it, you'd remember. Perhaps someone you had on look out for you."

Watching Jack's hands on the artifact, Daniel looked up in surprise. "You don't think he –"

Jack's eyebrows rose. "You had _Teal'c_ helping you?" He chuckled. "Unbelievable."

Snatching the artifact away from Jack's reach, Daniel shrugged. "He said you were teaching him about practical jokes and he believed that there comes a time when the student should demonstrate to the teacher what he has learned."

Jack's smile was wide. "That means he's fair game."

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Looking back, Teal'c definitely did not understand the 'practical' part of the joke. Perhaps he would ask ColonelO'Neill when he found him.

He turned into the lab of DanielJackson and found both him and ColonelO'Neill, along with MajorCarter there. He placed his hands behind his back. "ColonelO'Neill, I wish to inquire as to the 'practical' nature of 'practical jokes'."

The three turned to him.

"Holy Hannah!" Sam gasped and turned away, quickly.

"Whoa!" Jack exclaimed.

"Uh, Teal'c," Daniel frowned and focused on Teal'c's face. "We kind of expected you to go to your quarters and put on some clothes before coming here."

Teal'c tilted his head and thought about this. "I see. Then I shall do so."

After Teal'c turned and walked away, Jack laughed. "Oh, _that_ was fantastic!"

Daniel swallowed. "To say the least."

Sam cleared her throat and turned to look at them. "Sir. Unless you want most of the women in the SGC incapacitated, I think you should do something to clear the halls between here and his quarters. They are, after all, seven levels down."

Daniel and Jack exchanged looks, before they took off running after a very impressive, very naked Jaffa warrior.

Sam chuckled at their haste and shook her head. "That is, if the women of the base aren't lining the corridors of Level 25 already."

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_A/N: First, thanks to beta-angel taylyn10 for the beta services. Absolutely fabulous!_

_Second, this story was actually inspired by an episode of a "Stargate: Atlantis" series of episode tags I wrote, in which Sam refers to the events of this story. I just couldn't leave it as a reference. Enjoy!_


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